EMBODYING WORTHINESS
What would it be like to fully embrace and believe “I am worthy and valid?” How would believing this with one’s whole being change a person’s relationships and life?
A little while ago, I was in the grocery store having this thought, so I decided to try it. Frequently, in the grocery store I wonder if I am invisible, particularly when coming across someone blocking the aisle. This day, when I came upon several people blocking an aisle I decided to try focusing on believing thoughts like, “I am deserving of being here and taking up space . . . All my feelings in this moment are valid, and I own them as mine.” As I did this and I approached the people blocking the aisle a woman saw me, said excuse me, and made room for me to pass. I was stunned.
When I embodied the belief, “I am worthy and valid” it’s like I became visible. When I showed up embodied and present, people around me saw me, and it resulted in a pleasant low key interaction. What would it be like to be seen in all our relationships? What would change if we fully show up with a sense of worthiness in our relationships with our partner, parents, children, family, friends, and co-workers? What would it be like to be truly seen by those closest to us?
The answer to this may be mixed and complex, which may be part of the reason it can be difficult to do. Are there times when it’s pleasant and helpful to be seen (like when trying to get down a grocery store aisle), and are there other times we prefer to shrink and be invisible? When we make a mistake would we prefer to not be acknowledged? Others may prefer to not have their triumphs and successes on display for others to see.
Many of us can identify with invisibility feeling comfortable at times, yet is there a price to being invisible and not fully present in our worthiness? When I allow myself to shrink into invisibility I find it to be a double edged sword. There’s a sense of comfort and safety, yet there’s also a pain of loneliness.
I have found that to end and then heal from the pain of loneliness I first must face the discomfort of being truly visible. When I make the effort to know I am worthy and valid then many others see this and also know the truth of it. In addition to seeing my own worthiness, my eyes are also opened to everyone’s worthiness. I show up knowing I am worthy and so is everyone else.
I wish I could say this always results in a happy outcome. Unfortunately, I have found that while some people are willing and able to join me in this sense of worthiness, others are not. It is heartbreaking when someone we have considered close to us does not join us in this. It is also joyous and amazing when we find those who do join us in it.
It has crossed my mind that maybe I would have rather not known that certain people cannot join me in truly knowing worthiness, yet I also remember that the pain of loneliness was crushing me. In truly embodying and knowing worthiness I have faced grief as well as joy; however, in the end I have found rich relationships and a life worth living.